Denial
by angstwrit3
Summary: It is odd how we sometimes deny ourselves the pleasure we have longed for and which is finally within our reach. When we truly want a thing, to pretend that we don’t. And we grow angry when no one tries harder to give us this thing we so casually reject


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Summary: It is odd how we sometimes deny ourselves the pleasure we have longed for and which is finally within our reach. When we truly want a thing, to pretend that we don't. And we grow angry when no one tries harder to give us this thing we so casually rejected, and we soon find ourselves in a rage because we cannot say yes when we mean yes. AU fiction, A/S

Disclaimer: I tried to buy the rights to Evangelion but Gainax said "NO!" They told me that 10$ isn't enough to buy the 'greatest anime epic' of all times. so I still don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion. 

Nababaliw presents:

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Denial

Sitting in the crowded place of the library, Ikari Shinji is silently doing his algebra homework. _One of the advantages of being a loner, you have all the time to do your Algebra homework, _he bitterly thought. He just transferred schools last week, and no one even took the time to talk to him. 

__

90x + 10= 800

90x + (-10)+ 10 = 800 + (-10) 

90x=790

Now what was that again? Shinji thought, he knew the answer but something caught his eye. _Sohryu Asuka Langley, the girl of my dreams… _ A certain red-haired girl was looking around the library for a seat. Shinji stared at her beautiful face, the way she walks, the way she stands confidently. He likes the way she can stand up to her teachers, and still doesn't get a detention. He will never forget the way she stood up for a pig-tailed girl who was being bullied yesterday. And when someone whistled at her, he can almost feel the guy's pain when the fury red-haired, short-tempered girl kneed the guy's balls. _She is everything I'm not…_

He was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't notice that a certain red-haired was impatiently asking him something, and getting no results. She slapped him. (This is the REAL Asuka) 

"Nani?!" Shinji said shocked while rubbing his face. When he looked up, it's a good thing he didn't faint.

"Anta Baka? I was almost yelling at you and you were just sitting there staring into the space. I was asking you if someone's sitting here?" Asuka said, pointing to the empty chair in front of him.

"S-sure." 

"Arigatou."

Asuka gratefully sat in front of him, and opened her homework. _At last I can sit with him… _Asuka thought, she had a crush for him ever since she saw him walk through the door of her homeroom class. She was looking at Shinji who was concentrating at his homework. _I really don't get it. I, Sohryu Asuka Langley, have a crush with a skinny boy who does great at all subjects except PE? (Translations: Nerdy guy) When almost every guy in this school, even high-school guys, tries to get my affection._

"AAAAAAARGGGG!! It's soo confusing!!!" Asuka said frustratingly. 

"Huh?" Shinji asked when he looked up. 

"Dumkopf! Algebra is so confusing.." 

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Dumkopf? Shinji thought. "Ok. Do you want help?" He heard that whenever someone makes Sohryu feel stupid, they would suffer the consequences, but he didn't care.

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Asuka, this is your chance to talk to him. Say yes. A voice in Asuka's head said.

It is odd how we sometimes deny ourselves the pleasure we have longed for and which is finally within our reach, for some perverse reason she wouldn't have been able to articulate. Asuka didn't answer, instead she got up, took her things and went outside the door without even saying 'see ya'. And Shinji let her leave pretending to take no notice of her, not even racing after her to ask what's wrong. This is often the way of children, when they truly want a thing, to pretend that they don't. And they grow angry when no one tries harder to give them this thing they so casually rejected, and they soon find themselves in a rage because they cannot say yes when they mean yes. Humans are very complicated.

Asuka hated herself for not taking the offer, and Shinji hated himself for not asking her what's wrong and they most sincerely hated each other without having a normal conversation.

Eventually they moved on. A new guy came and asked Asuka out for a movie, she found out that the guy was nice, smart and funny. She gave up her fancy for Shinji and went steady with the guy. And Shinji became popular for being the first guy who sat with Asuka and still sure that he can have descendants, and girls came to him like bees who's attracted to honey. 

Some months later their paths crossed again in the infamous library. They were both heartbroken, and sitting at the same table. 

"AAAARG!! Writing Haiku sure sucks!" Asuka said frustratingly, 

"Do you want any help?" Shinji asked, feeling déjà vu.

__

I won't make the same mistake again.. Asuka thought. "Sure!"

RRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGGGGGG 

As if fate's testing them, the bell confirmed the end of lunch. But now, they were ready. 

"Let's meet here after school, then we can go to my house." Asuka offered.

"Sure,"

"What do you have next?" Shinji shyly asked.

"Algebra, Rm. 11."

"I'm going to room 12. Let's walk together."

"Sure."

It was an odd sight for the students; two people who just had their heart broken walking together. Laughing.

The End

AN: Thank you for reading this fanfic. I know that not many now read Eva fanfictions now that it was over. Please R&R, I need to know if I'm good at the Eva AU fanfictions.


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